A Lum Hat Wantin' A  Croon    Trad. Arr. Johnstone. 
A lighthearted tilt at the theory of Scots thriftiness. A Lum Hat is a top hat. 

O' - the burn was big wi' spate, and there cam' tumblin' doon. 
Tapsaleeri the hauf ae' a gate 
Was a big fish Hake and a great muckle Skate, 
An' a Lum Hat wantin' a Croon a croon, 
A Lum Hat wantin' a Croon. 

Well an auld wife stood on the bank, as they camí swirlin' roond
She took a guaid look an' "Syne!" said she, 
"There's Food and there's raiment gaun doon tae the sea!" 
An' a Lum Hat wantin' a   Croon a  croon, 
A Lum Hat wantin' a Croon. 

So she grippit' the branch o' a sough, an' she kickit' aff ane o' her shoon. 
She stuck oot her fit, it got caught in the gate, 
An' awa' she went wi' the great muckle Skate- 
An' a Lum Hat wantin' a Croon a croon, 
A Lum Hat wantin' a Croon. 

Aff she floatit' for mony a mile, past cottage an' village an' toon, 
And ach, what a time she had on the gate, 
Wi' the big fish Hake, the great muckle Skate- 
An' a Lum Hat wantin' a Croon a croon, 
A Lum Hat wantin' a Croon 

Well a Fisher was pacin'  the deck, by the licht o' his pipe an' the moon. 
He sees the auld biddy astride o' the gate, 
Wi' the big fish Hake, the great muckle Skate- 
An' a Lum Hat wantin' a Croon a croon, 
A Lum Hat wantin' a Croon 

"There's a man overboard!" cries he "Ye lee'er" quo she, "I'll  droon!" 
"A man on a board - it's a wife on a gate!" 
"It's auld Mrs. Macintosh here wi' a skate" 
An' a Lum Hat wantin' a Croon a croon, 
A Lum Hat wantin' a Croon 

Was she nippit tae death at the pole, or has India bakit' her  Broon? 
Man, I canna' tell that but whatever her fate, 
It was shared by a Hake, and a great muckle Skate- 
An' a Lum Hat wantin' a Croon a croon, 
A Lum Hat wantin' a Croon 

There's a moral attached tae this song; If on greed ye micht ne'er gie a froon. 
Just think o' the wife that was caught on the gate, 
Wi' the big fish Hake, the great muckle Skate- 
An' a Lum Hat wantin' a Croon a croon, 
A Lum Hat wantin' a Croon